All that goes wrong
by potterjay1234
Summary: all human non games- Katniss suffers from extreem depression after her sisters death, 5 months after Prims death she finds the person that she feels that is the last person that she truly loves, the only person left to pull her out of depression.


Hey guys this was originally a school assignment on relationships, I just thought I would share it with you all to get your opinions and comments (also I switched around names to my fav couple ;) so if there is a few names not changed let me know and I will change them), all the beautiful names in this belong to the amazing Susan Collins hope you enjoy,

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Why do I feel like this all of a sudden? Even in the cold I feel warm inside like the feeling you get when you sitting by the fire after a long day in the snow, and your feet are still numb. I feel the night embrace me into its shadow like the moon with the sun on a perfect eclipse. I could feel the cold air on my skin yet I could not feel the bitter twang it usually left on a cold night like this, I was just walking, not any where in particular, I do this when I have a deep emotion or feeling to think about. I'm an over-thinker, when a problem occurs I will think about it for hours just sit there and think. That was my way of coping, when my mum and dad died, when my sister got cancer and then eventually passed away, I would just think, and not talk to anyone. In a way I know why I'm walking but I don't know what the feeling is, I have never ever felt anything like it before in my entire existence, what is it. I scan through my head for possible reasons in my day to trigger this unknown emotion. Woke up ate breakfast, then went for a run, after my run I walked to the coffee place, none of this was out of the ordinary for me. I'm a creature of habit, I wake up the same time every morning takes me the same amount of time to run around the park and then walk to the coffee café, I have the same coffee (half strength cappuccino with a dash of caramel), nothing ever changes in my life… except for today I was late to the café, but it's the reason why I was late, that's when it hit me like a brick wall, I still love him.

When I was running laps of the park today, I bumped into someone, someone I knew all to well… my ex boyfriend, the story of what happened in our relationship was…well nothing to do with us, I just couldn't have a relationship through helping my sister battle for her life, the battle that she finally lost, he understood and said that he would wait until the victor would win, but the battle lasted longer than all the doctors guessed, he and I never lost faith but one day she was gone, and in a way I left with her. For months and months I didn't speak to anyone, I felt like I had failed as a big sister, like I had lost my best friend, In a way my sister was my best friend she would always be there and to this very day I miss her dearly, He couldn't cope seeing me like I was, like a living zombie, so we parted ways. In a way he was the only one I had left and him going it made it worse, I started going bitter and tried to harm myself that's when the doctors came. They treated me for my illness and I'm safe to say I'm fine now but I still have to monitor my stress levels and make sure I'm not exposed to anything that triggers the emotion back into me of self doubt and degradation. When he bumped into me at the park, I realized how much it isn't over between us how much I really miss him, how much I wished he would come back.

Even though it was nearly 10 o'clock, I pulled out my phone and put in the number that he gave to me oh so eagerly when we exchanged conversation in the park. I still new he would be awake he could never sleep when there was something on his mind, and if he was feeling the same way I was feeling, there is no doubt he is awake. He answers and I hear his voice I realize that it is why I feel like this, I do still love him, "hello?" he expressed in a questioned tone almost shocked that some one had called him at this time. "um, hi Peeta, It's Katniss" I said in a tone that event surprised me I was actually genially happy, "Hi Katniss, It was good seeing you today, how have you been its nearly been…." I cut him off "nearly 6 months I know, I have been better but I'm still better than I was before." "I'm so happy I bumped into you, look I know this is straight forward but would you like to have coffee tomorrow morning?" "um that would be very nice" and at that moment my checks where the color of scarlet roses, "anyway Peeta the reason I called you was to say I miss you, and it took me until today to realize how much I really do" I start tearing up and I feel ashamed, ashamed that I ever let him go and the state I let my mind convince me that I wasn't worthy of such a pure person, at that moment I notice I'm crying for the first time since, I lost my sister, he notices the choke in my voice and immediately replies with "do you want me to come over?" at that moment I start to let the tears flow down my face I answer with a simple but meaningful "yes." And with that I hung up the phone and headed home to wait for my shoulder to cry on. It took me 10 minutes to walk home, I had no idea on how far I had walked until I reached my front door, just as I put the key into the lock, I hear the a car pull the lights blaring behind me. I hear the door shut and footsteps clunk on the wet footpath up towards the house, at that moment I realize that I'm soaking wet from the rain, that would explain the chill that was running down my spine or the fact that Callum had just embraced me in a massive bear hug, and I get the feeling that he didn't stop loving me either.

In a short amount of time Peeta had taken me inside placed me on the couch and began to talk, I went to stand up and offer him something to drink but before I could he put his hand on my lap, "do you want a coffee…" this time he cut me off and replied "that's for tomorrow morning… remember?" I giggled, for the first time since we broke up, but the look on his face brought me back to reality, I didn't know how I was going to explain the way I feel without crying, so I start with "I'm so sorry for not being able to cope, I miss you so much Peeta, you're the only thing left that I really and truly care about 100%, and I just realize how much I miss…" again he cut me off "shhhhhh…. Don't cry because I'm not going any where, I have always been here, I'm still waiting you know,' he said in a joking but romantic way, again I giggle all I can say at that point is "please come back…." And he replies with " I never left" and with that I fell asleep on his lap and dreamt for the first time in 6 months.

As far as I remember from that night Peeta kept his arm around me keeping me close to his chest just like I know he did with all me secrets and problems, I don't doubt that he missed this as much as I did, even when I woke, his arm stayed over me like a protective shield, a shield that kept away my nightmares, when I realized what had happened last night my lips couldn't help but crack a smile, he must have sensed my movement because I felt his soft breath on the back of my neck "are you awake yet sleeping beauty?" I blushed, "I might be…" "Are we still going on that coffee date we planed earlier?" he said with a massive smirk across his face, "yes, but run first…" he groaned, "but I ran yesterday." "Well I run every day, its something the doctors recommended to make myself feel better…" before I could stop I realized that I had yet to tell him about how bad my depression got, and I didn't want to, "wait doctors… why doctors?" he was worried I think in a way he knew why I needed the doctors help, he just didn't want to believe it "well…" I stutter tears growing in my eyes, "after you left, I was a lot worse…." And yet again he cut me off "how worse" In an even more worried tone "a lot" I just left it at that, and he caught on, "well I'm back now and I promise that I'm not going any where, if you ever think like that again you tell me straight away," "but its not as simple…" "It is… you tell me, next doctors appointment I'm coming with you…. For support." "Peeta have I ever told you that you're the most amazing person, I'm so thankful to have you back…" before I can finish he cuts in "did I ever tell you how lucky I am?" "No, why are you so lucky?" "Because now I get to spend every day with you..."

Before I knew it we where walking out the door ready for the run, he went to grab my hand, at first I jolted my hand away forgetting how good it felt to have his hand wrapped around mine. Walking hand in hand down the street towards the park, its not just the security that I missed about being in a relationship, it's the constant reminder that someone else is there to talk about anything with, to trust with your life someone who would put themselves after you. I have never had much of a family my parents where always traveling for their jobs, that is actually how they died in a plane crash, I was 18 and my sister was 14, they left me as main caretaker of her and I promised that I would look after her, when she was diagnosed with cancer I knew I had failed my parents, My sister and Peeta during the months of her battles where the closest I had to a functional family, I think back on her last 5 months of life she was the happiest I had ever seen her, but right now I have to be happy for me, for once in my life I'm putting myself first.

As I come back into reality I realized I started running, I turn to my side to find Callum no where to be seen, I have a mini heart attack looking around for Peeta but I couldn't see him, okay now I'm freaking out, yelling all most "Peeta!" I exclaimed "Peeta where are you?" no reply, I look around once more to see Peeta running after me in the near distance, I can just hear him screaming "KATNISS! What's wrong?" All I can think is how am I going to explain this one, "I'm okay, just hurry up and catch up!" a few minutes later he had caught up to me "you run fast" he exclaimed "Yeh I know 5 months of doing it every day you get fit…" "What happened back there, you just started sprinting off like you where running from something…" he sounded very confused "its just what I do when I think about her and what happened…" I can't cry here not now but it was too late he saw the tears in my eyes and embraced me in another one of his bear hugs he knew I was very found of, "its not your fault, we all did everything we could its time to move on" as he wiped the single tear that ran down my face, as hard as it was to admit he was right, its time to move on.

We decided to skip the run so we could talk, not about the past but about the future, we talked about getting an apartment together saving up for a house since both of us have cars we where going to start a business when we had everything worked out. Months went by without problems; he was still the sweet sensitive guy that he was now a year after my sisters passing. Tomorrow would mark a year since my baby sister's death and I'm extremely emotional, and Peeta knows. He said that he has a surprise for me tonight but I'm not in the mood, it's about 12 o'clock when I get a phone call and what a surprise its Peeta, "hey my little honey bee" "hi Peeta what's up?" I sound really drowsy, and I am, Peeta has been on a business trip all week and my nightmares are keeping me awake at night, "I'm home!" he exclaimed, the thought made me jump out of my seat and run to the window to see a car pulling up, I run out the door like a little kid running to the Christmas tree, as soon as he is out of the car I wrap my arms around him, it feels so good to be able not to dread going to sleep tonight especially being tomorrow to have to wake up to, I can see his eyes to a quick inspection of my body to make sure I'm okay and I give him a reassuring nod, "do I have to remind you I got you a little surprise while I was away…" he pulled out a colorful box about the size of an average birthday present wrapped in blue wrapping paper, my favorite color, I was expecting a new coffee maker or something like that, but no another plain blue box, I look up at Cal to see a massive smirk on his face, what was this a joke, "what?" he know that he has got me stumped and that's a first. He drags me inside while I'm still fussing over the blue box. I give in to my eagerness and finish unwrapping the rest of my surprise but the only thing that is at the bottom is a simply gorgeous engagement ring, with a note attached reading '_will you? Peeta x,' _at that very moment I started crying tears of joy because I had been waiting months for him to ask, and sadness because none of my family where here to share this special moment with me, "I'm sorry Katniss I didn't want to upset you, you don't have to say ye…" I cut him off this time "I can't… I'm sorry" and with that I ran off crying.

I have no idea how long I had been running for but my thoughts were burning like a fire ball, my lungs felt like they where about to cave in and my spine gets a cold chill from the rain that had just started poring down, I'm so cold, inapproachable, I wish that I could just lie down and die at this very minute. So I lay my self out on a picnic bench that has some shade and I slow my breathing right down, before I could close my eyes Peeta's face shot across my vision, he's scared and freaking out a little bit I can see it in his eyes. "Katniss!" "Wake up Katniss…. please" I tried to talk to let him know that I'm okay…. But nothing came out, "Katniss just squeeze my hand if you can hear me" so I do, "a sigh of relief escaped his lips, "now lets get you to the hospital…" no not the hospital they might be able to tell what I was trying to do, "no Peeta not the doctors…please no" I think he caught on "I thought you said that you would tell me when you where this upset" "its not that easy, I have been having nightmares all week and tomorrow being the day it is I'm very exposed to my stupid depression..." I pause, he is looking at me as if asking me to finish the sentence, but I don't I leave it at that. He picks me up and starts to carry me to the car that I can see parked in the distance, I can hear him whispering _'I'm so so sorry Katniss'_ as we approached the car he finally said something, "I'm really sorry Katniss, I didn't want to upset you, I just thought it would keep you occupied from tomorrow, and its time…" I'm lost for words; I have no idea what to say to him at all, "I'm sorry my reaction was well…. Horrible" "I'm the idiot for proposing to you, today you're already an emotional wreak…. Just lets get through tomorrow, and then we will look further into the future." I can't reply I'm to busy focusing on not crying again, "you know Katniss I have work tomorrow would you like me to take the day off just to be with you and your sister?" "No. Tomorrow I our day, and anyway she was the one that always deserved the happy ever after, not me…" "Katniss you have to stop putting yourself down like that, give me one plausible reason why you don't deserve the happy ever after?" "Because I failed as a big sister, I don't find it fair for me to be living her dream while she is just watching," "you deserve it too Katniss, you did absolutely everything to help her and she was too far gone, its not your fault, and she would be so happy that you where finally happy, it has been 1 long year for you and she knows that, she would love you to visit her tomorrow, you have to stay strong for your baby sister, because she will get scared if your crying, she would think that your not happy, do not let her feel like she died and that was the end of you, she wanted you to do what you wanted, to still be her Big sister…." I gulp why is he always right, why? He was extremely right, I need to be myself, and I cant be that without Peeta, he saw the massive smile across my face, "she is proud of you, I know she is, because I am" "yes." "what?" I had him stumped "I will marry you…."

I wished that night could have gone on forever, but I did eventually wake up. I reached across to realize that it must be past 7 in the morning because Peeta had already left for work, I look across and see a note on his pillow saying, _"Stay strong and smile for her" _at first I let a tear escape, I promised him that I wouldn't cry, and that was the last one I let run down my cheek. I went out side checked the mail box and did all the normal morning chores, I forgot to look at the clock but by the time I was finished it was almost 3.00pm I had really slept in, so I quickly got dressed into what I was going to wear out for dinner with Peeta, I did my hair and just put it in a messy bun, I don't know if I should put makeup on because even though I promised I would not cry, doesn't mean I'm going to stick to that. I got in the car with the flowers that smell as sweet and pretty as she used to, there Lily's, her favorite, I don't know why but she always reminded me of a flower, always bright and happy. As I got lost in my own thoughts I realized I had pulled up to the cemetery I took a deep breath, grabbed the flowers and started to walk to where she now rested her head. It took my 2 minutes to find my sisters resting place, and I was sitting there holding in tears for about half an hour, before I knew it I had Peeta crouching behind me with one hand on my back and the other supporting himself up, "how long have you been here Peeta?" "I just got back from taking your car home," I give a weak but reassuring smile "thank you, I think its time we went to the Restaurant" "I think that sounds like a very good idea." As we walked back to Peeta's car I wanted this moment to last forever, I had finally let go of my little sister, and I couldn't have done it without Peeta. Peeta was always there for me and I could not wish for another second without him, he kept me happy and well, he made me see clearly even on the darkest of days, he was my soul mate. We where driving in the car already when I snap out of my day dream to find Peeta starring deep in to my eyes I blushed, and for a quick second I saw the bright headlights of the on coming car that didn't appear to be stopping any time soon, wishing that I was the one driving, the one that was about to be hit by the car that looked like it was going ten times over the speed limit "PEETA!" I screech but its to late the last thing I see before the car collided with ours was the look on Peeta's, face pure horror.

I woke up to the sound of beeping and smells that I couldn't stand, I knew where I was yet as much as I tried I couldn't open my eyes. I was shocked when I heard the murmurs of doctors I only could hear bits of their conversation but I did register one of them saying that that "the other person in the car was the only person she had left…." "Then who would look after her? "No. No it can't be Peeta can't be dead, no, he wouldn't, I want to scream, sob, and yell all at the same time not again not another love one lost… Then my mind went blank.

"_I realized what they the doctors where talking about, I was on life support, and they turned it off as they realized I was still able to process thoughts and memories. I'm with them all now Peeta, My sister Prim, Mum Dad everybody, I still don't know where exactly I am, I'm very happy though. I'm still wearing the black dress I wore the night of the crash, although no blood stains or rips and holes fully restored to how it was, I have no concept of time and I feel completely disorientated, I wish that I had came sooner, this place is so beautiful and peaceful and full of vibrant colors. It's the perfect balance of white and black, of color and life. Peeta is always beside me, never leaving me like he promised. We are bound by love not by marriage._

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Okay guys that was the story, if you think that I should put an alternate ending to the story or have any feed back let me know thanks for reading


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